My 18th Birthday!...

Tonight my parents took Steelley and I to El Coyote for my 18th birthday dinner. It was almost a week late...but I'm not complaining cause you just can't complain about steak. If you've never been to El Coyote let me just tell you...you NEED to go! Save up your money and go there! If you drive past the restaurant on any normal day you wouldn't know that they have good food. The outside isn't very fancy or anything...it's just a hole in the wall. But despite that...it has THE BEST filet mignon I have ever had in my 18 years of living. The filet mignon is so tender it almost melts in your mouth! It's very delicious and I strongly encourage you to go sometime and get that. Besides all of that I am now headed home to watch "October Baby" for the first time and eat my birthday cake that my mom had Holly Butts make me...I am beyond excited to eat this cake! It's always a treat when you get even just one bite of the moist deliciousness she makes so well! I am so blessed and thankful to be spending this wonderful evening with people I love so much!! 

Acceptance & Not Fitting In...

Not fitting in and/or not being "accepted" is something a lot of teens have to deal with, some more than others...but everyone handles it a little differently. Some act out and some just hide in a corner and cry when no one is looking. I honestly find it sad that everyone can't just get along...but unless everyone wants that, it's not going to happen...and a lot of people are content in their situations. 

I can honestly say while I have been a victim of not being accept, i'm ashamed to say that I used to be one that made people not feel accepted or wanted when they walked into my youth group on Sunday mornings or Wednesday nights. I am embarrassed to admit this because I'm a born again believer...I claim the name of Jesus and yet I wasn't acting very Christ like...I'm supposed to accept everyone for how they come, treat them great, and show them God's love...but I wasn't doing that. It's not that I was intentionally trying to be mean or anything, but I was content in my situation and I didn't really need anyone coming along trying to squeeze into my little "clique" thing. 

In the past year I've had to go to people and apologize for how I treated them in the past. Around a year ago I realized my youth group needed change and the only way change was going to happen was if both sides came together as a group and loved each other despite each others flaws and differences...like we're supposed to as Christians. How are you able to love outsiders if you can't even love the people you sit in church with every Sunday?? Now don't get me wrong.. my youth group is GREAT, but just like any youth group there are groups of friends and whoever doesn't "fit in" with those groups cling together and become "the outsiders on the inside". I hate division...it's really not cool to walk into a room and see the obvious segregation. 

So one Sunday I decided even if nobody else was going to try and make a change I was going to....because everyone needs love and I thought that anyone who didn't "fit in" wasn't really getting that much love from the group. So that Sunday I switched from my side of the room...I left my comfort zone...the place where I was content....and I sat on the other side of the room. I began talking to people that any other Sunday prior you would've only seen me throwing a fake smile in their direction...sometimes. 

I began making friends...true friends that accepted all of me, and while I was trying to make a change for them, they made a change for me and made me feel something that I didn't really feel from others. While I was trying to show them love and acceptance...they showed me love and acceptance. I began to see that some of those kids knew love and acceptance more than I did, and while I was trying to show them...they were teaching me. 

No one else has yet to join me on my mission....but I am still sitting there every Sunday with "the outsiders on the inside" and although it's weird to say "I have become one of them"...I have. Those are the people I talk to the most because they go out of their way to speak to me, we all make an effort...those are the people who go up and speak to the new kids who come to class every week. They make "the outsiders" feel accepted and I am glad that I can say I am now a part of a group that seriously show's love to others. The change that needed to happen ended up changing me for the better...and there's nothing wrong with a little change!